Yes I have been MIA for about a month, and for those that have been wondering, I am still here, I am still alive and I have not died or fallen off the planet. The last month has been an odd one for me. I found myself in a funk, I didn’t want to do anything, see anyone, or be social. I went into a shell, and for the most part was just going through the motions of my so-called boring, uneventful life. As most of you know, I live alone, and for the most part I love that. I do as I please, I don’t answer to anyone but myself and my cats, so as long as they have food & water, plus clean boxes, they are content and could care less if I am here or not, that’s just how cats are. The problem with me over the last month is I allowed outside events I have little to no control over dictate what I did and how I acted. I became lazy, I became lethargic, and I found myself in a fog that would rival the most dense fog ever seen in San Francisco Bay.
So finally I asked myself this hard question. What is it you WANT to do, more than anything else in the world? I found myself not knowing the answer, and to be fair, I have never known the answer to this question. At one point in my life I thought it was the stereotypical “white picket fence” with a wife, kids, and live happily ever after. Well I have tried to achieve that twice in my life, and I found out I was horrible at it so I found out the hard way that wasn’t what I wanted. What I discovered was that I really want the freedom to be able to do what I want when I want it with no regard for how much time it will take or how much money it will take, so I guess if I want to be able to do that I have to remove myself from the ball and chain of a “job” and although I know I cant just go into my place of work and quit…I know that the only person that is in control of getting to that place and getting to that freedom is me.
So now that I have a goal in mind, now that I have a focus, I am about to get out of my comfort zone, get out of the box and think….and do whatever I have to do to get to the point where I can walk away from my “job”. no one can do it for me, there isn’t a magic formula, nor is there a magic money tree that is going to allow me to get there. I have to do it, I have to earn it, and I have to be the one that goes out and takes it.
I don’t expect it to happen overnight, nor do I expect it to happen in a year, but this is my goal, this is my motivation, and today re-boots the journey to what I want to achieve…